New Year, New...Ah, Screw It

New Year is typically a time of self-reflection for me and is particularly sacred. It's a moment where I can just breathe and explore the nooks and crannies of my soul self, dreams, desires, and lessons.

What do I need or want to learn this year?

What really excites me?

What virtues do I need to practice?

If this is sounding like a spiritual practice, it's because it is. I love the moment of pause and contemplation that a New Year brings with its new practices and mindsets.

That's in a typical year, though.

This year, I'd be lying to you if I said I was running on all cylinders. After a few weeks off, a break from art, and lying low on social media, I still feel burned out. The idea of doing the same old routine of recommitting to certain goals, finding new intentions, etc., just doesn't do it for me. If anything, it makes me feel even more burned out.

So where to go from here?

Instead of setting any intentions or goals or resolutions, I just decided to let go and flow. More constraints are the last thing I am seeking in this moment and after 2020 I need to do some new soul searching on what exactly aligns me and who I want to be in this new season of my life. Somehow that feels like the most natural and easeful thing to be doing right now.

Let's be honest, 2020 wasn't a kind year for many. It exhibited mass and, in many cases, unwanted change--the kind that can strip you bare and leave you for dust if you don't watch. For those that are in that boat (me included), let 2021 be a year of recovery and healing. Let it show up however it needs to. Give yourself some grace here.

For me, this is showing up as meditating, journalling, reading, writing myself affirmation notes to read in the mornings, and leaning even more heavily into art.

I write this blog post to say, it's OK to walk into 2021 (or any year) as the same old version of yourself as last year. And it's OK to not be fired up over a goal or vision. Just give yourself some grace and show up in the best way that you can.

And most of all--may 2021 not be a total dumpster fire!